0 Saturday Throwback 11 Things Dwight K Schrute Taught Me About Food and Frugality

Every Saturday, we post a piece from the CHG vault. Today, we salute the end of the 2010 television season with this feature from October 2007. Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.

Hardworking. Alpha Male. Jackhammer.

A renowned beet farmer, volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy, and Assistant to the Regional Manager at the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company Scranton branch, Dwight K. Schrute embodies all these enviable qualities, and then some. (He’s also merciless and insatiable.) Yet, the goose-bating, martial arts-trained Schrute makes cultural contributions that go far beyond his multiple jobs.

Of course, I er to his insights.

Our lives can only benefit from Schrutes somewhat obtuse, yet priceless aphorisms. Especially the ones about food. And cooking. And saving money.

So read on, dear … uh, readers. Learn from our fair farmer, and one day you, too, may join the DWIGHT ARMY OF CHAMPIONS.

DWIGHT SAYS: “Michael always says ‘K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid.’ Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Fresh, simple ingredients are the best way to a cheap, healthy meal.
In other words, eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, dabs of dairy, healthy fats and lean meats are the building blocks of delicious dinners and happy digestive systems. In the long run, they cost less and taste better than pre-packaged stuff, too.

DWIGHT SAYS: “My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to the local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm ... sometimes teenagers use it for sex.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Buy local.
Not only does it support neighborhood farmers (who need security to keep randy kids away), but food that’s shipped from nearby tastes better, is better for you, and is easier on the environment. See here for more.

DWIGHT SAYS: "First rule in roadside beet sales, put the most attractive beets on top. The ones that make you pull the car over and go, Wow, I need this beet right now. Those are the money beets."
DWIGHT MEANS: Knowing how food is marketed is vital to saving cash.
There’s a reason grocery stores put expensive, good-looking food at eye level. It’s the same mentality behind placing pricey victuals in gigantic, showy displays. When you go food shopping, don’t forget to look at the top and bottom shelves - beyond what’s immediately apparent. You’ll spend less. (Also: Stick to the perimeter of supermarkets, shop from the circular, only use coupons for stuff you’d buy anyway, keep a price book, etc.)

DWIGHT SAYS: “Studies show that more information is passed through watercooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Bottled water is a big, wet cheat.
Packing a thermos from home, using the cooler at the office, or simply gathering H2O from the tap can conserve up to $600 per year, depending on how often you buy bottled. (See here, here, and here for more.)

DWIGHT SAYS: “Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years, which Im looking forward to. Its an Amish technique; its like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of 4 until my 6th birthday, for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Save leftovers, or suffer the terrible consequences.
Whether it’s excess mashed potatoes or those last two slices of pizza, try to pack your extras away. It’ll keep your portion size down, make a delicious office meal the next day, and put your lunch money back where it belongs – in your pocket.

DWIGHT SAYS: "Oh you know that line on the top of the shrimp? Thats feces."
DWIGHT MEANS: Don’t play around with food safety.
Yeah, I think this ones pretty self-explanatory.

DWIGHT SAYS: “In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, ‘Ow, I hurt my leg. I cant run. A lion eats me and Im dead.’ Well, Im not dead. Im the lion, youre dead.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Eating smart and modestly will save your money and your life.
Obesity contributes to heart disease, diabetes, and cancer – all difficult and expensive illnesses to treat. (See Get Rich Slowly’s The High Cost of Being Fat.) Plus, it makes it very difficult to run away from lions.

DWIGHT SAYS: “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Find a food anti-idol.
Imagine your most extravagant friend. You know, the high roller - the one that doesn’t think twice about his finances. For what does he dole out the most dough? If he’s anything like my big-spender buds, it’s food. Learn from his bad example and try to use good judgment when buying groceries, ordering out, or settling down for a restaurant meal.

DWIGHT SAYS: [to Tobys daughter] “Hello, tiny one. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!”
DWIGHT MEANS: Teach your children well.
When it comes to eating and budgeting, kids learn largely from the examples set by their parents. Whether it’s having dinner together or serving more vegetables, changing a bad habit or starting a few good ones will benefit them for life.

DWIGHT SAYS: “When you are ready to see the sales office, the sales office will present itself to you.”
DWIGHT MEANS: Honest change can not come until one is truly ready.
If you’re looking to cut costs or make a switch to simpler foods, you must first commit yourself to the idea, and then be ready to follow through on the behaviors. Think of it like smoking: every single person on Earth can warn you to stop, but until you want to, there’s no chance.

DWIGHT SAYS: “I do not fear the unknown. I will meet my new challenges head-on, and I will succeed, and I will laugh in the faces of those who doubt me.”
DWIGHT MEANS: You don’t know unless you try.
So you’d like to make more money, cook more wholesome meals, lose a few pounds. What’s stopping you? Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from reaching your dreams - gastronomic, economic, and otherwise.

(Catch more of Dwight on The Office every Thursday on NBC.) Photos from Flickr and Buddy TV.

0 Saturday Throwback 61 Tips for Travel Eats on a Budget

Hey there! Were trying something new! Each Saturday were posting an older piece from CHG’s archives. Todays comes from August 2007. Hope you enjoy.

As the summer draws to a close (or begins - Edited 2010), several bajillion Americans (self included) are itching to get out of work; to soak up the last lingering rays of another warm season gone by.

Also, they’re hungry.

Transportation and housing aside, food’s a major budget concern when planning a vacation. Since most travelers are just trying to find a decent, affordable meal, nutritional considerations nearly always fall by the wayside.

What follows, then, is a plan: the ultimate guide to saving dough on food while you’re away, with extra emphasis on healthy options.

BEFORE YOU GO

1. Research. Citysearch, Frommers, Zagat, and Lonely Planet are just a few sites that highlight inexpensive, nutrition-conscious restaurants all over the U.S. Local newspaper sites and area-based blogs can point you the right way, as well.

2. Check for coupons and certificates online. Restaurants.com and eBay can help. Signing up for Entertainment Books is also a big boon to savings, while you’re at it.

3. See if your company can get you a deal. “Some restaurants shave 10% to 25% off the meal cost” claims USA Today. Check with HR before departure, and you might be able to score a bargain.

4. Consider an all-inclusive. Lots of resorts and cruises incorporate the price of meals in their room packages. While you might still be stuck paying for drinks, this can save hundreds in the long run. Most provide tons of healthy chow, too.

5. If you’re a foodie, travel during Restaurant Weeks. Now in Boston, Baltimore, Philly, DC, Atlanta, Dallas, Sacramento, Toronto, Puerta Vallarta, and New York City, Restaurant Weeks provide fantastic deals on four star restaurants. Seriously, we’re talking $20 for lunch at Nobu. Open Table is a phenomenal resource for this.

6. Look for festivals. Upon arrival in Little Rock, Arkansas, my roadtripping friends and I were greeted by Riverfest, a weekend extravaganza of food, music, and people-watching. Needless to say, we skipped lunch and grazed on corn, tomatoes, and good, cheap beer. Check Festivals.com or call the Chamber of Commerce for dates and possibilities.

7. Take Rachael Rays advice with a grain of salt. While I like the catchphrasey Buffalo doyenne, she cuts a few corners and tends not to tip so well on her $40-a-Day show. Theres good stuff there, just beware of going too far in your quest for affordability.

8. Sign up for frequent flier miles. Some credit card companies will give them to you for dining at certain restaurants. Put your stomach to work.

GETTING THERE: IN THE AIR

9. Don’t buy food at the airport. Its ludicrously expensive.

10. Skip the plane chow, too. Airlines need money for gas, and they’re taking it out of your meal budget. Why pay $8 for a sandwich you might not even like?

11. Bring an empty. The TSA will confiscate full water bottles, but not empty ones. Slip one into your bag, and fill it using the airport tap. Voila! $2 saved.

12. Carry snacks. Even if it means raiding the local drugstore, packing your own bites will save big bucks, satisfy cravings, and keep the calorie count down.

GETTING THERE: ON THE ROAD

13. Bring a cooler. Fill it with ice, drinks, fruit, cut-up vegetables, cold cuts, bread – anything easily assembled that can be used for an in-vehicle bite or roadside picnic. You’ll conserve time and cash, and it’s easier to regulate what you eat.

14. Create a Port-o-Kitchen. Stuff a small plastic with meal-making necessities. Travel board poster MJ Hardy brings “a plastic container with a lid that I fill with a small paring knife, wine opener, small can opener, a couple of place settings of study plastic silver ware, packets of salt, pepper, other condiments, individual wet naps, and an assortment of zip lock bags, etc. I then put a small stack of paper plates and napkins in a large zip lock bag, a small plastic cutting board and a partial roll of paper towel.” Handy!

15. Freeze a thermos or two. Fill a reusable plastic water bottle with the drink of your choice and freeze it overnight. After it defrosts in the car, and you’ll have a cold beverage at your disposal.

16. Make a big bag o’snacks. On a recent road trip through the South, my friend S brought a massive backpack of granola bars, baked chips, granola bars, Smartwell cookies, and granola bars. It kept us happy and full for those eight-hour stretches through Oklahoma. Pretzels, nuts, baked chips, low-fat cookies, beef jerky, and popcorn are good, lighter choices here, as well.

17. Consider kids’ meals. If you have to resort to fast food, they’re cheaper and generally healthier than adult meals. Don’t try it at a fancy sit-down eatery, though. Not classy.

ACCOMMODATIONS: SHORT-TERM (ONE AND TWO-DAY STAYS)

18. Book places with free breakfast. When continental and buffet breakfasts are built into the overnight fee, everybody wins. Bed and breakfasts are, of course, included in this category. Grabbing an extra orange or apple for a snack can’t hurt, either. While you’re at it…

19. See if there’s free lunch and dinner, too. According to a USA Today article, one diner, “says he stays at Red Lion hotels and fills up on the free food -- popcorn, nachos or hot dogs -- served during happy hour.” I’m still trying to find the health benefit from that, but the savings are pretty obvious. Of course, if neither of the previous pair of tips apply …

20. Pack your own breakfast. Oatmeal, cereal, English Muffins, and fruit are simple to pack and prepare, and they don’t need massive storage or bizarre cooking utensils.

21. Use your ice bucket. If you don’t have a cooler or fridge for leftovers, the ice bucket is a decent shotgun substitute. Wrap food tightly, though.

ACCOMMODATIONS: LONG-TERM (MORE THAN TWO DAYS)

22. Get a room with a kitchen. Cooking your own meals is the #1 cost-cutting measure whenever and wherever you travel. It makes it ten times easier to monitor your own nutritional intake, to boot. Pack some home-bought provisions or pillage the local supermarket for deals.

23. Ask personnel to empty the mini-fridge before you get there. This way, there’s no temptation from incredibly pricey shots of Jager, and you can stuff it with your own nutritious repasts.

24. Buy beforehand in bulk. If you’re gonna be there awhile, you may as well stock up. Just make sure you have enough storage space.

25. Pack your coupons. Hey, you never know.

26. Check the ‘net for circulars of nearby grocers. Depending on where you’re coming from (say … NYC), supermarkets local to your destination can have much cheaper food than your hometown grocer. Circulars will help procure deals, too. Keep in mind though, it might be best to …

27. Bring condiments from home. Staples like butter, olive oil, and mustard are often costlier than the main meals themselves. If you think you might only use a little of something, portion it out into Tupperware and throw it in the car.

28. Save leftovers. They’re not just for Wednesday night post-work dinner anymore. Whether you’re cooking in your room or ordering out, the extra can feed you for at least one more meal.

RESTAURANTS

29. Browse brochures and newspapers. Often placed in or around rest stops, hotel front desks, and your room, theyre chock full of discounts and coupons for local joints.

30. Avoid eateries located by major attractions. I work in a high-tourism area. (Let’s call it Schtimes Square, Schnew York.) The food here is easily twice what you’d pay in any other area of the city, and generally, the quality is the pits. Walking two blocks from a landmark, monument, or sightseeing highlight (say, Schtimes Square, Schnew York) can automatically save 50% off a bill. Special note: in foreign countries, beware of “touristy restaurants with ‘We speak English’ signs and multilingual menus” cautions the Chicago Times’ Rick Steves. They know the game, and will frequently charge more.

31. Don’t eat at restaurants INSIDE tourist traps. Again, pricey. This goes for museum cafes, theme park diners, Graceland, and their ilk. Wait until you’re well outside, then run. On the same note …

32. Skip the dinner shows. Remember the strip club guideline here: The entertainment might be eye-popping, but the food sucks. While you’re crossing things off the list …

33. Eschew mid-scale dinner chains. If you’re vacationing somewhere renowned for its food, stay out of Applebees, Chili’s, Macaroni Grill, Olive Garden, TGI Fridays, Bennigans, Hooters, Pizzeria Uno, Sbarro, Ruby Tuesdays, Red Lobster, Outback, and their ilk. Not only are their prices higher in tourist destinations, but the signature food is rarely health-minded. (Cracker Barrel excepted. Because it is awesome.)

34. Eat a fantastic lunch instead of a costly dinner. A mid-day meal can run half the price of a late-day one. The food is the same quality level, and you’ll often consume less calories, since eateries tend to serve lighter fare for lunch. This goes especially for upscale restaurants.

35. Go ethnic. The best Indian food I ever had was in Glasgow, Scotland. As travel writer Tony Robinson puts it, “Eating in ethnic neighborhoods provides great local color, a chance to meet interesting people, and very low prices as well.”

36. Hit the buffet once a day. Inexpensive and full of options, buffets are a stellar choice for the health-minded. Odds are you’ll be able to skip another meal, as well. I think my parents go to Vegas for this sole reason.

37. Ask for discounts. Are you a Senior, Student, or member of a large group? Excellent. You might be eligible for a chunk off your final bill. “But be warned,” says Steves, “because the United States doesnt reciprocate, many countries dont give their standard senior citizen discounts to Americans.”

38. Doggie bag it. In the U.S., anyway, eat-out meals can be twice the size of a normal, human-appropriate serving. Conserve money and calories by bagging half and stowing it for another meal.

39. K.I.S.S. Really, this is applicable in any restaurant, but coffee, appetizers, and a fourth bottle of wine add to big-time to your bill. If you really want to conserve, split an entrée and drink water.

40. Pay attention to in-season specials. Cheaper, fresh-food-oriented, and often specific to region, the specials give you a great taste of local favorites.

41. Go before the crowds get there. He’s done so well so far, I’ll let Rick Steves explain why: “Most countries have early bird and ‘Blue Plate’ specials. Know the lingo, learn your options, and you can dine well with savvy locals anywhere in Europe for $15”

EATING ON THE FLY

42. Pretend you’re a native. Order like a Parisian. Buy groceries like a Londoner. Grab fish from a Seattleite’s favorite market. Making these simple shifts in thinking will help you garner tasty chow for optimal cash.

43. Hit up an open-air market. Popular in Europe and the U.S., you can score artisanal-quality foods for much lower prices than at a restaurant. Exotic cheeses, crusty breads, cured sausages, fresh fruit – it’s all at your fingertips. I survived in Spain almost entirely on baguettes, cherries, and Nutella, and dang, it was good.

44. Have a picnic. Instead of dining in an upscale boardwalk joint, set a blanket up on the actual boardwalk. Steves (again) says, “$15 buys a hearty picnic lunch for two anywhere in Europe.”

45. Ask a local. A citizen will know far better than any guidebook about where to buy the most delicious, most frugal food, and many will be flattered you thought to explore. If you’re feeling shy, though…

46. Follow the home crowd. Workers, old ladies, moms with strollers, and people who obviously live in your travel destination know where to go. Search for long lines and indigenous-looking folks, and you’ll walk away a sated winner.

47. Eat on the street. If you’re unsure about buying from vendors, travel writer Cindy Meyers suggests you “head towards the stand thats the most crowded, find out what everybodys nibbling on, and then point to what you want if you dont speak the language.” Worried about being inadvertently poisoned? Then go with Budget Travel Magazine, which advises: “request that your food be cooked fresh for you. A hot grill will usually eliminate any microscopic bugs that are present. And a plate of steaming noodles is safer than food left out for hours at a hotel buffet."

48. Be a mallrat. U.S. Food courts are a cornucopia of culinary choices. If you go a little before closing, you might even score a deal. (Choose wisely, though. Some of that may have been sitting there awhile.)

49. Skip lunch. A big breakfast and nice dinner mean you can probably get by with a nutritional, filling mid-afternoon snack for the rest of the day. Grab some trail mix or a piece of fruit if you’re feeling peckish.

50. Starch yourself silly. Thrifty, tasty, and easy on discerning bellies, most travel destinations in the world offer some sort of on-the-go starch. Pasta, bread, rice – whatever – the stuff’s universal.

BOOZE

51. Smuggle your own. Especially in non-inclusive resorts, alcohol prices can be super-high. Either bring stuff in bulk from home (a la Trader Joe’s) or find an on-the-road liquor supplier to raid.

52. Go early. Happy hours are a great deal in most major American cities, and HappyHour.net is a good place to start.

53. Try the house wine. Frequently served in a full or half carafe, its freshness and lower price makes it a good buy. Go with red for heart benefits.

54. Sidle up to the bar. According to the oft-cited Rick Steves, “Throughout southern Europe, drinks are cheaper if youre served at the bar rather than at a table.”

55. Stick with local brews. Budget Travel Worldwide claims when traveling abroad, “an imported spirit will be triple the cost of the local tipple,” meaning a Dos Equis in Mexico could be a much better buy than a Labatts in England. Lite beer will often be $1 less, as well.

56. Look for drink specials. Quarter drafts, Ladies Nights, and 2-for-1 deals are just a few of the lovely night-out offerings that can save cash on vacation. Check the local independent paper, or scan bar and club windows for ads.

57. Avoid foofy concoctions. They’re expensive and laden with sugar. Consider: a single pina colada has more than 400 calories, while a margarita can run over 300.

58. Don’t drink at all. The best booze control method is no booze at all, no?

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST …

59. Tip where customary. If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to eat out.

60. Loosen up a little. Whether you’re on a diet or just hesitant to taste something with tentacles, vacations are a one-time deal. You may never get the opportunity again, so go for it. (In moderation, of course.)

61. Get out there and eat. A healthy chunk of travel is experiencing local culture, and that means food. So be thrifty, but have a bite or two in town. Enjoy!


Sources:

• Button, Kimberly. “Save Money on Vacation Dining,” Bella Online. bellaonline.com/articles/art8245.asp
• “Eating Well on a Travel Budget,” Budget Travel Worldwide. budget-travel.brilliant4biz.com/Budget_Travel_Dining_Out.html
• Hardy, MJ. “Tips for Saving Money on Food and Restaurants: Post #16 of 41,” Frommers.com. September 2003. frommers.com/cgi-bin/WebX?13@59.NqW9bnEq2r0%5E0@.eeb2bad
• “How to Eat Street Food Without Ruining the Trip,” Budget Travel. June 2007.
  budgettravel.com/bt-dyn/content/article/2007/05/07/AR2007050700783.html
• Khan, Salina. “Eating on the cheap while traveling takes some creativity,” USA Today. October 1999.
• Maio, Kathy. “Tips for Saving Money on Food and Restaurants: Post #24 of 41,” Frommers.com. September 2003. frommers.com/cgi-bin/WebX?13@59.NqW9bnEq2r0%5E0@.eeb2bad
• Martin, James. “Saving Money on your European Vacation - 12 Frugal Vacation Tips,” About.com. goeurope.about.com/cs/travelbasics/a/saving_money.htm
• Meyers, Cindy. “Eating Well on a Tight Travel Budget,” BootsnAll Travel. March 2005.
  bootsnall.com/guides/05-03/eating-well-on-a-tight-travel-budget.html
• Robinson, Tony. “How To Save Money On Food When Traveling,” SavingAdvice.com. savingadvice.com/forums/travel-vacations/14017-how-save-money-food-when-traveling.html
• Steves, Rick. “The Thrifty 50: Rick Steves budget Europe tips for 2007,” Chicago Tribune. March 2007.
• Wolf, Jennifer “Saving Money on Your Family Vacation,” About.com. singleparents.about.com/od/cuttingcosts/ss/save_vacation_3.htm

0 Saturday Throwback If I Had Known Then Food and Financial Advice for the College Bound Also a Story

Every Saturday, we post a piece from the CHG archives. This one is from August 2008.

As summer draws to a close, gazillions of monumentally stoked 18-year-olds are preparing to leave the warmly comfy, comfy warmth of their hometowns for four years in cinderblock lecture halls. Yet college isn’t all reading, studying, and sporadically penning 25-page papers on FCC v. Pacifica (1978). It’s also occasion to figure stuff out – like how to seriously manage your adult life for the first time.

Fortunately for this blog, that adjustment period has much to do with frugality, food, and health. High school grads everywhere will soon be budgeting and cooking for themselves, and the initial months won’t be easy. I know, because once upon a time (the year 45 BC) I was there.

Looking back, I think I did okay. Still, there are quite a few CHG-type things I wish I had known before I left home. Like…

How to feed myself competently and frugally. My parents were excellent providers and decent cooks who fed us rounded meals from birth through late adolescence. Yet somehow, after 17 years, I never picked up on simple concepts like, “eat a vegetable, doofus,” or “an all-mozzarella stick diet will bankrupt, then KILL YOU.” If I had paid attention or done any research, the road to good health might have been an easier and cheaper one.

How to cook. In my small college town, it was ritual for students to eventually move out of the dorms and into run-down off-campus housing (owned by a landlord who worked nights as the anti-Christ). Of the eight kids who shared a single kitchen my junior year, only one knew what she was doing. The rest of us bought overpriced convenience food from the local superstore and/or made do with whatever she (note: me) could glean from her night job at the donut shop. In retrospect, an elementary grasp of basic cooking skills could have saved both time, money, and lots of donut indigestion.

How to avoid buying worthless junk. Every semester, I subsisted entirely on a few hundred dollars earned over summer or winter breaks. It was barely enough for textbooks and food. Yet, I still bought 14 tons of useless crap for no other reason than I COULD. Once, it was pair of vintage jeans. Another time, a Phish album (which, ew). And another time? I blew $7 on a vial of colored dust from a local tchotchke shop. To repeat, I spent SEVEN DOLLARS ON YELLOW DIRT. I wish I had read a finance book at that point, or even had any clue about maintaining a budget. At the very least, I wouldn’t have bought any beaker soil.

How to read nutrition labels. Oh man. How many muffins did I think contained only 220 calories, when it was actually more like 660? Duh.

How to care about my body in the right way. This is a tricky subject, because on the whole, universities are sadly rife with eating disorders. Too much self-scrutiny can land one in Bulimiatown, and too little will make the Freshman 15 seem like a fond memory. So, I’ll say this: I wish I had spent less time worrying about my weight (which nobody cared about half as much as I did), and more time investing in my health (which … it wouldn’t have hurt to hit the gym once or twice). Negative body images are endemic to teen girls – in America especially, and applying my energies the correct way (to eating right and exercise vs. stressing out about my butt) would have helped me greatly down the road.

I might also add “how to enjoy inexpensive beer” to this list, but I actually learned that part kind of quickly. And it still wasn’t half as valuable as the single best lesson I gleaned from my parents during college: namely, there are no second chances with real world money.

Let me explain.

Back in the spring of (DATE REDACTED), I was accepted to the aforementioned semi-affordable public institution in upstate New York, where the seven-month winters were matched in intensity only by my need to GET THE CRAP AWAY FROM HOME. I adored my Long Islander parents (and still do), but the prospect of living 400 miles away from them excited this lifelong Girl Scout to no end. So, I sent the “yes” letter, got my roommate assignment, and spent the rest of the summer earning textbook funds at the local Wendy’s fryolator.

For the most part, Ma and Pa were incredibly supportive. Besides making the obligatory trips to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for girly-blue shower caddies, they also offered to pay my tuition until my little sister entered school, two years hence. Being good parents and savvy businesspeople, they had one condition: I had to maintain a 3.0 average.

“No problem,” I thought. “Bs are easy.” I’d breezed through high school (for the most part - damn you, Physics), and wasn’t intimidated by the prospect of a higher, harder education. Subsequently, when I entered school in the fall, I devoted most of my time to … um … not schoolwork.

It went fine for the first few weeks, until I received a string of fairly awful grades on papers and tests. Those Cs (and in one or two cases, Ds) were both tremendously humbling and a serious wake-up call for my stupid (drunk) ass. So, I cut back on the excess, buckled down, and soon, most of my class marks had morphed into semi-respectable Bs and B-minuses.

Except Basic Musicianship.

Though the class was taught by the sweetest man alive, I didn’t understand a damn thing. Nor did I make any effort to, whatsoever. I missed a bare minimum of one class per week, never read the material, and probably took a combined total of three pages of notes. In retrospect, I’m surprised the professor didn’t hurl me out a window, smug attitude first.

By the end of the semester, I somehow pulled a C-minus out of the air (note: my butt). It was better than I deserved, but still brought my overall GPA down to a grand ol’ 2.99. (Seriously! A 2.99! I didn’t even know that was possible!) When my parents saw, I expected them to gush, “2.99! But that’s SO CLOSE to a 3.0! We’ll pay your tuition FOREVER.” To my then-consternation and their never-ending credit, that didn’t happen.

“Kid,” they said, “we asked for a 3.0. Here’s the bill.”

My callowness (and let’s be honest - newfound love of cheap beer) cost me upwards of $4,000, which I finally finished paying off last year, after more than a decade of interest had accrued. (P.S. I never got below a 3.3 again.)

But you know what? I’m glad it happened. I’m glad Ma and Pa stuck to their guns, because it taught me the three of the most valuable things I’ve ever learned:

1) There are no second chances with real world money.
2) There are no second chances with real world expectations.
3) My parents don’t mess around, ever.

Thanks to that inglorious 2.99, I pay bills on time. I don’t miss deadlines. I try to exceed what people ask of me. Sure, most of it’s out of sheer terror of the consequences, but I like to think I learned a microscopic smattering of responsibility along the way. (Note: It’s mostly the terror.)

Readers, how about you? Whether you went to college, your own apartment, or a marriage, what food/health/economic things did you wish you knew before leaving home? Bring on dem stories (and I promise next week, there’ll be an article with real research and actual learny-type things).

~~~

If you like this article, you might also dig:

• Cheap, Healthy College Food: Tips for Frugal, Nutritious Dining in the Dorm and Beyond
• 20 Cheap, Healthy Dishes Made From Ten Pantry Staples
• Frugal Food Hacks: 10 Tips to Simplifying Online Recipe Searches

(Photos courtesy of generalsarmory and lizblog.)

0 Saturday Throwback 10 Thrifty Healthy Ingredients to Improve the Quality of Your Meals

Every Saturday, we post a piece from the CHG archives. Todays article comes from November 2007.

For the first 25 years of my existence, my food stood alone. Meat went unseasoned, starches sought no accompaniment, and vegetables … hermits, all of them. Only recently have I discovered the wonders of spices, sauces, and assorted flavorings. I had heard they made edibles better, but discounted it as a blasphemous rumor. Y’know, like gravity.

In honor of these fine, zestful components, today’s article will expound on joy and wonder of my favorite ten. The following foods generally aren’t the main focus of a dish. Instead, they’re simple, easily attainable additives that will boost the quality of your spread immensely. Some cost a few cents more than generic or mass-produced items, but in most cases, a tiny little pinch goes a super-long way.

1) Freshly ground black pepper
Along with its sister salt, black pepper is one of the most widely-employed spices globally. Alas, according to sources, it starts losing its flavor immediately after grinding, meaning the five-year-old jar on your shelf is little more than grey dust. Investing in a solid mill and Costco-sized package of peppercorns will juice up almost every meal you make, at minimal cost over time.

2) Fresh herbs
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme aren’t just tremendously soothing Simon and Garfunkel lyrics – they’re also a grade-A way to turn a dish from crappy to credible. Though price is contingent on time of year, every spent cent is rewarded. Casual Kitchen makes every other good point there is to make about this, but I’ll add that some herbs last much longer than you might think. I’ve had thyme survive my fridge for more than three weeks.

3) Stock/Better than Bouillon
When heated in stock rather than water, many foods (pasta, rice, veggies, etc.) assume extra flavor. While homemade stock is always preferred, Better than Bouillon is a good alternative to cans and cubes. A dense paste, it makes 38 cups of broth per 8-oz jar. Priced at $5.95 on Amazon (and a rumored $2.99 at Trader Joe’s), it comes out to $0.16 per cup, or about half the cost of on-sale Swanson broth. (EDITED TO ADD: These are 2007 prices. 2010 prices may differ. - Kris) I used it in Thanksgiving prep at house, and the eaters were pleased. (Three cheers to Rachel, the Cheap Healthy Gourmet for the tip.)

4) Wine
Thanks to Trader Joe’s, the internet, and an expanding world of wine appreciation, a passable vino is becoming easier and easier to find. Five bucks will nab you a bottle suitable for braising and/or deglazing, which ups the flavor in meats, sauces, and vegetables.

5) Decent cheese
Whether you’re dusting penne with parmesan or grating sharp cheddar over potato soup, a smattering of frommage can invigorate a dish with mad flava. BUT, the quality of cheese matters, tons. Case in point: last night, I went to a generally reliable Irish bar for dinner and ordered a vegetable melt. Sure, the choice of produce was bizarre (broccoli, carrots, and zucchini) but the dish was totally sunk by the over-processed, barely-warm slices of Grade Z American cheese. Buying less expensive dairy is understandable, especially if it’s used in bulk (a la enchiladas), but if you can swing it, slightly better brands in small doses do wonders. (As god as my witness, this will never touch my pasta again.)

6) Real lemon juice
Frequently a main component of dessert or dinner, the lovely lemon (not to be confused with Liz Lemon) can also brighten the flavor of a sauce, salad, or slab of meat. Still, there is no substitute for having the actual, physical citrus fruit on hand. My Ma’s been a staunch ReaLemon supporter for most of her time on Earth, and I’ve always found it tastes like dishwater. At $0.25 to $0.50 a pop, go with the real thing.

7) Panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)
I am not a supporter of breadcrumbs on macaroni and cheese. I think they take away from the main event. That said, I ate the beloved dish topped once with panko, and completely flipped my wig. Crunchier, lighter, and only slightly pricier than American-style breadcrumbs, panko ups the ante on everything. Try it with pork chops, chicken, and fish.

8) Anchovies
Discovering a whole dead fish on pizza might be enough to make you swear off anchovies for the rest of your life (and the next one, if you’re into that kind of thing). Yet, the tiny, economical add-on will give dips and dressings a much-needed kick in the pants. This simple, healthy dip by Kathleen Daeleamans is a great example.

9) Garlic straight from the bulb
This one’s a tad personal. Ma and Pa, who are righteous in every other way, cook with pre-minced garlic stored in huge jars of olive oil. Pa believes it saves some time and maybe a dollar, but he always has to use twice the amount called for since the pungency is severely compromised. Fresh garlic is delicious, un-diluted, and according to a new New York Times article, good for you as all get out. Plus, there’s the vampire-repellant factor, and that can’t be overlooked. (BONUS: Special mincing instructions here. )

10) Condiments
Soy sauce, tabasco sauce, teriyaki sauce, mustard, honey, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce – every one of these guys can stand on their own, or be incorporated into a grander concoction. And when employed in moderation, they enhance rather than overwhelm the taste of a meal. You can purchase according to your own taste and/or buy in bulk for savings, but coughing up an extra buck will make a difference in the end product.

Also worth mentioning: capers, bulk nuts, olives, fresh seasonal veggies (as opposed to canned), flavored vinegars, various pastes, fresh hot peppers, chutneys, salsas.

Any other suggestions? I’d love to hear ‘em.